Emotionally Disabled

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Often times we do not want to admit when we are the problem! Trust and believe I know it might not feel good but I also understand how important it is to be honest with myself. If we live in denial of our undone work we will constantly be out of touch with ourselves. If you’ve ever heard of “shadow work” then you possibly also understand the “inner-child”, it’s important for us to acknowledge that our inner child does not cease to exist, especially when half the “adults” around us are still pouting, pointing fingers, and lieing to get their way. Isn’t it something, the human experience! I laugh at myself all the time!

I think it important to get intouch with the unseen parts of ourselves, the body has all it’s organs and function but there is also what we call the soul, the universal language of eternity is how I like to think of it, the soul is what guides us and speaks to us, if we are not connected to our souls we might be overtly connected to our ego, pain and unseen shadow which could be leading our daily lives and we don’t even know it!

I have a great interaction with shadow work, personally and experiential, through friends, family, human and romantic connections. I use to think of myself as emotionally detached but I have come to realize that I am emotionally disciplined, often able to look beyond even my own emotion to acknowledge the overall picture, with understanding and compassion to consider not just myself but those inner childs surrounding me, understanding this, that I cannot change anyone elses response but I have the power to change my own, most people find this hard, I like to think of it as a gift, my blessing and what has many days felt as a curse.

Let’s get into it! What is emotional discipline? In short it is being able to manage your own emotions and feelings, remaining calm in challenging circumstances and being able to deal with matters without making them worse. Simply put, emotional discipline >/= emotional capacity

We can of certainty build emotional discipline, looking back I thank my parents because they raised me to be self aware, they are very constructive in the way they do anything, to this day! I think if they contributed nothing else emotional discipline is one of the greatest gifts to recieve because it plays such a strong role in our lives. As mentioned earlier, our inner child dwells within us, it is apart of our subconscious minds, it is necessary that through emotional discipline we put concious effort toward acknowledging and redefining this part of ourselves!

Here lately I realized my inner child was crying out, she needed to be heard, she was asking to be seen, no irony involved but this was my same exact cry growing up, I always felt, unseen, unheard, unacknowledged, I never understood why I felt this way but into my adulthood I get to revisit these emotions and nature my inner child. I recently wrote her a letter of comfort, of love and acknowledgement. Now, I speak to her daily, I let her know that she is safe to thrive in my presence, that I will take care of her and provide her with the tools necessary for her to show up as her full, energetic, creative, sensitive, affectionate, loving self.

We all have an inner child that must be realized if we are to function in our fullest capacity. By focusing on this work within myself I can’t tell you how quickly things have made a turn for my emotional insight, it has helped me to be more grounded, confident and secure. As I continue to learn who she is, little Katrina, the more I, big Katrina, become!

I write all of this to say, life is beautiful! Everything comes full circle, never be afraid to be “wrong”, because we’re not always “right,” learn to smile with yourself because everytime you feel misplaced emotions, you just learned something new! nurture your wounds, acknowledge them, stop hiding and judging yourself. Acknowledgement is the first step always; to come to anything you must first acknowledge everything. If we cannot analyze the full picture who can fully comprehend themselves? It’s inevitable, the full picture anyway, the truth always finds It’s way, even in the darkest places. Start by looking more simply and acknowledging your emotions for what they truly are, for example: I feel angry, BOOM💥! What is your anger attached to? It is okay to feel human emotions but if we do not want to remain emotionally disabled to emotions such as anger, we must curiously wonder what they mean to us and how we can serve them best!

With love,

Katrina M. Lyles

This was my motto like two years ago and I can’t shake it- I like to create reminders for myself- when I came across this quote it truly gave me hope, I was going through a transition at the time that was stripping me of all my comfort- a relationship that played it’s course- leaving college- these two things kept me complacent- I honestly was not happy in my relationship but didn’t believe in “giving up” 😆 I loved the idea of partnership but was not with someone who shared my same values- this person made the hard decision I couldn’t- they was like “it’s time” I agreed but letting go was hard. The ideas I had in my head- shattered. Thank God I had a support system that gave me the tools to heal rather than turning bitter which would’ve been the easier route to go but very costly. I had to swallow a lot of pain and accept that everything was for my good and nothing was working against me but rather for me, it took me a good six months to heal but with the help of five men in my life at the time, they have no idea how much they blessed me: shout out to my Daddy numero uno and the famous five: Cooper, Greg, Ceasar, Ant and RIP Rob … I’m emotional 🥺🙏🏾 I thank ya’ll!! Each of your presence blessed me!!

Leaving college was overdue, I’m telling you- I should’ve left when they was asking for essays & I was writing poems, essay where? I had the audacity to
Turn that in lol(only one time) College was a sense of security- it gave me direction until I realized it wasn’t where I truly wanted or needed to be.

Long story short looking back I can truly smile because I see the hand of God all up in it- my suddenly did not come rapidly but it showed up when I least expected it. Someone was suddenly taken out of my life, I suddenly was offered to work as a personal trainer, suddenly started boxing, suddenly started training three crazy, loving and hilarious men, all at once- lol!!! Suddenly networked online-visited NYC,  SUDDENLY had the audacity to buy a one way ticket after my trip because baby it was time to move- my spirit knew- these transitions, these people- they all suddenly came into my life and gave me the courage to heal, to make moves that would set me up for where I am in this moment-

I’m ready for this new suddenly that I’m feeling- I’m encouraged- I’ve recently had a long transition of mourning this last year and a half which we’ll talk about anotha time- but
I hope we’re encouraged about the simple things because they truly make room for the greater things. Your suddenly is doing a work for you, don’t doubt your blessings and pay attention to the details

With love,

KML

Taken for Granted

Don’t take the people in your life for granted, every connection has it’s purpose some will bless you others will curse you but do not be granted to those who love you those who bear you up those who are patient with you understanding and have the capacity to consider you in their hearts, these connections I will admit are rare only because we often lack the tenacity to look beyond our emotions, we often lack perspective, foresight to see the grander picture. As a young girl my parents, particularly my father was big on perspective, looking at the details and forseeing the big picture that went beyond it’s emotional warfare but embracing the intelligence to shift the patterns and break the cycles. As the woman I am becoming I see more clearly what my parents instilled in me from a young age but it is often hard when you meet others entangled in their warfare so much that they vomit and eat it up over and over again. This sounds harsh, I’m sure but the truth hits you like a ton of bricks and it’s not what resonates that shifts us but what we so often resist which is the pain, the tears, the accountability. There are many days I’ve heard sermons that moved me, excited me, put a fire in me but it was the sermons that pricked me & called me out that truly woke me up, it didn’t always seem fair and in life we’re often looking for a scapegoat. I think it’s important to know that pain does not equal abuse pain does not equal mistreatment pain does not equal injustice these here listed are exactly what they are and the pain projected upon others is due to the lack of love understanding and truth from those inflicting the pain that was once projected on them, yet pain, in it’s purest form does not last long but just enough to show you a new way of being, yet we live in karmic cycles that often curse us because we cannot break the spells over our lives, someone has spoken down to us & we speak down to others, someone has not listened to us and we often don’t listen to others until someone does differently. Today and everyday I choose not to be a victim, I choose accountability, I choose to face my harsh realities to embrace the peace, love & understanding that is not easily broken by the pain of others, it is not always easy, we often don’t recognize ourselves until we are faced with our reflection, that “man in the mirror” is often your friend, your “enemy” your self, we are each a reflection of one another yet we fail to understand the purity of connection between us and we filter it with ego, competition, frustration, hate. I am not innocent here, I face my shadows daily, don’t we all but how often do we speak to our selves? Not about what upset us but how we got here in the first place, we often feel triggered and like bullets we let residue seap into our hearts and minds and we walk around wounded, never dealing with the pain. I challenge myself to surgically remove the fear of pain because what is damage has already been done and in any case you will die if you don’t tend to the wounds in your heart for the brain can’t not take the stress and the body will yield to decompose so let your mind be free and remember that accountability, love & forgiveness is key.

-KML TUES November 24, 2020

Smart Raids

Sexual exploitation including sexual slavery.

It’s not what you think it is.

Forced work.

Stateless.

Working to provide for their families.

Our lives are being trafficked.

They’re trying to keep us stateless in our own land.

No place to sleep, drink or eat

Just for their sexual appetites.

We are not your slaves.

Physically free.

Psychologically bound.

My family won’t eat, if I don’t.

Is privilege a choice?

You demand so high of your privilege.

You keep it at all costs.

“Awful rumors”

The lies you tell.

Multi-generational pedophiles.

In our communities.

On our jobs.

In our homes.

Targeting the vulnerable.

Recruited by men.

Licensed Brothel System.

We are NOT FOR SALE

There are more victims than you think.

In your own neighborhood.

Speak out against the sex-exploitations of black people in America.

Speak out against the sex exploitation of a global pandemic.

Speak out against the exploitation of poor and rich girls.

Speak out against the exploitation of human lives. Men and women, boys and girls, LGBTQ.

Speak out against the “entanglements” of our hearts and minds that keep us from the whole truth.

Don’t get distracted.

Abolish sex trafficking, it is slavery.

Generational Blessing

Momma taught me to pray for the generations to come.

Momma prayed for my soul long before I entered her womb.

She told me about the prayers and worship hymns of old; momma taught me about my ancestors.

I listened to mommas prayers and found them sure, mommas voice was mighty but tired, still, she prayed through the midnight hours.

“Show God your face,” momma taught me to surrender, she taught me to yield so that the spirit of God could lead.

Momma taught me to worship, kneeling forward with my hands crossed was not the only way, momma taught me to worship Godevery single day, in every single way; momma taught me to see God in EVERYTHING.

Momma showed me forgiveness, kindness, humor, grit, humility, pain, love and joy.

Momma was everything, my centerpiece; she was my heart.

As I pray for the generations to come, I am their mother.

Just as my mother I will show them how to pray.

I will show them how to worship.

I will be an example of God’s love.

Just as my mother, I will talk to God like she talks to me, I will listen for God like she listens to me, I will love God like she loves me.

Thank you momma, for the prayers of the righteous availeth much.

Because of your prayers my life availeth much.

I love you,

Katrina M. Lyles

Greater

I was having a dream concerning some personal concerns about many thoughts I had throughout the day and woke up saying “Greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world” (mind you, two something in the am lol) I was immediately confirmed and felt reassured beyond my previous concerns. Not only was this a scripture I had not read in a while but it was a scripture that represents the power of God within.

Often we don’t function to our full capacity because we are overwhelmed by our difference; we question if we are enough: “what can I offer?” “what will I say?”, “who will I become?” I find it necessary to ask these questions in reflection but never in doubt. We are each unique and this is why it’s important for us to show up, exactly who we are. When we learn to function from an authentic place nothing can take that away and your “differences”will always be enough so long as you are with pure intent.

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine and we discussed the importance of creating a new narrative, they shared with me the necessity of creating space for myself to enjoy that narrative, to embody my value and make room for myself at all times, this was a reminder and confirmation to me at the time; I’ve noticed that I continue to be reminded of this through scripture, numbers, conversations … and as I embrace this new narrative, not only am I confirmed but I see where I am attracting my thoughts so quickly in fact that I must be intentional and sure about what it is that I’m thinking and saying.

Through my personal experience, I want to encourage us to understand God beyond religious conflict or opinions, understand God even beyond your own capacity. challenge your narrative through personal development; who are you? What do you want to offer? What do you want to say? Who do you want to become? I promise, even if you don’t know the answer to these questions you will realise them as you further develop your spirit. Become one with your reflection and less involved with your doubt. Let us question our thoughts, finding the root of our discomfort, allowing enough space for our error in order to change it. As we can become more effectively aware of who we are and why, we will not doubt because then we’ll understand our makeup, from there we can mold our narrative in a positive direction rather than simply being led by emotions of defeat. Your life is worthy, no matter where you come from, your experiences can be used to make a difference in your behalf if you would allow understanding to develop you.

We often fear judgment not realising that it is simply someone elses understanding so I want us to understand that the narrative we embody as ourselves is also the narrative we embody of God. Do not be afraid to be “judged” do not be afraid to be ignored, do not be afraid to look foolish, do not be afraid to be rejected but also; do not be afraid to be heard, do not be afraid to seem wise, do not be afraid to be accepted. Allow yourself to experience the power of God that is great inside of you, Greater than any judgment outside of you. It takes a great sense of accountability to realise this, we must observe ourselves daily to study our lives and imagine the change we want to create for ourselves being given to the world. With this type of mentality it grooms us to be concious, grounded, aware and intentful; we do not have to be what anyone thinks of us but we should always practice to be what we think of ourselves as we develop the tools of greatness that lie within.

1 John 4:4 “Greater is He that is within me, than He that is in the world”

With love,
Katrina M. Lyles (KML)

HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH ACCOUNTABILITY

We often place blame and lack accountability more than we realise; if we begin to treat accountability as a relationship, not only will we become more self aware but we will notice our responsibilities begin to expand beyond the mentality of: “God bless me, my family, us four and no more” accountability allows us to recognize how indebted we are to life, which gives us the willingness to make mental, physical and spiritual changes for the better of our living conditions, experiences and environment as a whole. We take on the commitment to live differently for the benefit of a higher conciousness, to break cycles and provide a better future for the generations to come.

Society often thinks we are responsible solely because we pay bills, take care of our families essential needs and work hard; it’s what we ought to do and yes, it is our responsibility but does that truly make us responsible? Responsibility is more than just a role to your family, it is the act of accountability; the intiative to actively involve yourself by embodying change, through not only our willingness to change but the consistent effort it takes to make a difference. In account of our current state of ignorance; that would mean we should begin questioning our intentions, being honest about our thoughts, communicating with our families, having stronger influence in our homes, seeking diversity on our jobs, connection amongst our peers and challenging our conversations by introducing unbias perspectives. Taking on these roles creates space to establish a narrative of responsibility that goes far beyond the four corners of our comfort zone. We can begin to understand exactly what that looks like by listening, studying and implementing change every single day of our lives. Nonetheless, playing a role simply won’t do, we must be sincere to take the necessary steps.

It takes an abundance of love, self reflection, compassion and education to reduce our error and increase our awareness; this is necessary for any individual who is looking to heal from trauma. Americans are traumatized and don’t often acknowledge the load this carries on the rest of the world. Many people look to Americans as an example of freedom but we are not truly free here until we learn to live beyond the illusion that everyone is treated equally in this country because it is not so.

It is easy to place blame or think we are not responsible for someone elses suffering but the root of one’s suffering is the root of all suffering. Any change we desire to see starts by having a relationship with accountability; we must never stop choosing accountability because sincere change begins with our awareness; only then can we take the initiative necessary to redirect ourselves to a more responsible position in life.

Accountability will change the direction of this nation. White Americans face the sickness of superiority and Black Americans often endure the traumas of inferiority; both are devastating and must change for the betterment of the world, as a whole. Change cannot truly be attained until the “minority” becomes the “majority” and the “majority” accepts that there was never a minor in the first place. Black people are major contributors to this nations wellbeing and we are nothing less than significant; especially when it comes to evolving from America’s treacherous dealings toward the rest of the world; black lives have been specifically marked/targeted and we have suffered a great deal, yet, to see change benefit everyone but ourselves feels like a curse. Still, we thrive to live beyond the sins of this country but many people fail to realise that equal opportunity and change for black Americans will make a difference for us all.

It is important for everyone to take accountability, starting with themselves and expanding into their homes. We can’t always reach the world but we can influence the mind that will. Tupac Shakur said it first: “I’m not saying I’m gonna change the world, but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will change the world.”
It takes a collective mind to bring massive change. Change doesn’t have to look the same for every household but all of us must act with the same awareness and accountability it takes to challenge our own defeat, which is racism and inequality in America.

Racism is not beneficial to life and it defeats your sense of responsibility, especially when you cannot account for your own irresponsible and unjustifiable actions. Trauma is not something we desire to pass on to the next generation so we must heal from our wounds of physical abuse and mental slavery; Americans must stop living in denial. The world is suffering in many different aspects and we all need to heal, which takes a collective response of accountability; this is not only a black and white issue; the troubles we face today have always been human rights issues and though once deemed as property black men, women and children have always been very much human and we have yet to lose our humanity; God forbid, if we did, this country might not exist.

By no means do I say “we” to ease white guilt or disregard the realities black lives face in a world that systematically oppresses, denys and manipulates us but I say we for the collection of un-reprobated minds, those who have the understanding that human beings are not separated so we must independently yet collaboratively do the internal work it takes to make an external impact on the world. Change is NOW and it’s going to take a lifetime to clean up the mess we’ve made.

-Katrina M. Lyles
June 17, 2020

Black Women: “Matter vs Worthy”

Mommy, Me, Sissy

What defines the matter of a woman? Black women are more than our bodies; more than a topic of discussion and more than our problems; black women are worthy!

Black women have many qualities and natural abilities. We hold such a valuable position in life; yet we are devalued, unprotected and rejected. I think Malcom X said it best, “The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman.” It doesn’t get much clearer than that.

I care about black womens lives just as much as I care for anyone elses. Right now, I care about black womens lives more; firmly considering, I am a black woman and I not only matter, I AM WORTHY!

Macroaggressions have come a long way, they use to be so large; now they’re so “micro” – you want to know what? It really “grinds my gears” when white people won’t get your name right. The microaggression of it all is, after your ancestors enslaved black lives, four hundred plus years, the least you can do is get our names right. Black Women are worthy of their names!

Doesn’t it sound mundane, inhumane? That I have to constantly tell you again and again, if you don’t know my name by now, I imagine it’s because you choose not to say it; Black women are not one of your little friends, We are not going to keep telling you our names. Learn to enunciate my name at all times. Black Women, WE are WORTHY OF OUR NAMES.

Black women are NOT your superhero. We don’t come to save your day and make it all better; not when you walk all over me, like you don’t see me; STANDING HERE! I AM standing here, do you mind.

Black women are worthy of RESPECT, acknowledge our presence; that shouldn’t take too much from you, would it? I just think black women should be seen; do you care to see that I am standing here? It is for you to make room or move completely out of our way.

Black women, we so often stand, much longer than what is worth the wait; only to recieve what’s left over from someone elses Godless plate. Black Women are Worthy of Respect along with so much more. It is the bare minimum for someone to acknowledge us; they must learn to Respect our names and see our presence. Black Woman, YOU are WORTHY.

Black Women deserve to eat; a seat at the table won’t do. We deserve our own feast. Black women are WORTHY of LEADERSHIP. We have studied, educated and liberated our minds from your mental slavery; why so contempt? We have earned the position to lead! It doesn’t mean you can’t, it simply means that we can, we are role models, teachers, speakers, CEOs and you got that right, Black women are Leaders. Black girls; you will lead from the front, you are worthy of leadership.

Black women are often raised up, to be put down. Racially profiled as pawns in a system that has targeted our men, to place black women in high chairs and pacify the unfair imprisonment of our sons, fathers, brothers and men; seperating our families.

They have broken bread over the back of the only man in the world who has seen our scars and lay with you at night to patch the wounds. Black women are WORTHY of LOVE. stop killing our children, stop incriminating our men, stop asking for black women to hold out our arms and fill your table with goodness, when all you ever did was take good from us. Black women, our men, our families are WORTHY of LOVE, LEADERSHIP and RESPECT.

For every undone mess we are worthy of Justice, black women. Aren’t we WORTHY OF JUSTICE!

Thank you,

Katrina M. Lyles

Family ties: Strong Foundation

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When I look back at family ties, I am truly thankful for my foundation. I grew up in a home with both parents who have a strong conviction for character. Many people may or may not know this but my family and I had church in our home for many years, still do to this day. One thing I loved about our church is that it emphasized the importance of a strong foundation; hints that was it’s name “Strong Foundation Pentecostal House of the Lord” sounds like a preachers sermon doesn’t it!? Lol

I remember when my family and I lived in Hinesville Georgia. My parents bought a building and built pews, they had an altar and did all the structuring for a church, they could not afford to have a church and a home so they made room for living space. I was just a child at the time, possibly four or five years old but I remember the day we had our grand opening. The doors were wide open and the sun was shining bright, when I looked back I had to squint my eyes. That feeling in those moments always stuck with me, I can feel it right now; the anticipation, the warmth, the silence. We were preparing for something! Awaiting someone’s arrival.

I don’t remember too much after that but fast forward twenty some odd years later and my parents have still made living space to have the church as their home. I’m having an aha moment right now because I understand that it was never about the building/ place of worship; my parents themselves were the church and they built strong family ties by emphasizing the importance of building your own church i.e we being the temple or the body of Christ. i.e we being responsible for shaping ourselves, together. Because of this structure in my life it taught me the importance of foundation but also the power of showing up as God wherever you go. I am truly blessed to have lived under the wings of Michael and Pamela Lyles.

Long story short, back to the importance of having a strong foundation of family ties. A mother and father are both heads of a household, they make decisions together, they eat together, sleep together, sometimes they even poop together and together they function as one. When a couple functions as one they become each other’s strength because they are partners, teammates they can live together or die together, reign together or fall together and I mean that literally and figuratively; nonetheless, if they are together they are as one. These values of partnership are critical in structuring a strong foundation within your family, I am very aware that not every one has that kind of structure and this is my point. Our family ties are out of order. We cannot know the first steps to structure or building if we do not understand the necessity of strong family ties.

In the black community we are collectively aware of building a structure of necessities for our families to thrive but many of us are missing the core ingredient of a strong foundation. I don’t claim to have all the answers but I do know of all the friends and neighbors and strangers I’ve met they have always emphasized my structure and in some way always acknowledged that I have obviously come from a strong foundation. It is not only because my parents were together but because they were actively involved in structuring the foundation of their home. Through foundation we realise that there is a layout to how we live our lives, not everyone’s layout looks the same but it functions together. Where many of us have lost our connection is not because we do not care but that we do not know to care, we don’t know how to take care of business: our children, our problems, our finances; our soil is no good. It is important for us to acknowledge our lack of foundation so that we can learn to uproot and resurface to more solid grounds.

Many of us are stuck in the mud because we don’t have anyone to shovel us out or there are some who don’t need anyone to shovel them out, so they remain stuck, blinded by the ego of “I get it on my own” you selfish fool; think of your family, your community, the future generations. Can you not see that we need you? We all need eachother, we are all family but we have no ties, we feel no obligation, we have no reason but me, myself and I; correct me if it’s a lie.

I won’t continue to rebuke us because my intention is to regroup us so that we can wake up and live for a higher calling; a strong foundation that will guide us to our promise land. Flowing with “milk and honey” ( Get your money, black man… but also get your woman) quick message to the black man: We need you, you are a leader, stop following the trend and make you a win because flashing cars and dollars is nothing compared to loving a woman and raising your daughter, be an example to your boys so that they can grow up to be strong men of valor. To us: black women, we are warriors too, so my message is a little different for you. Black women, let us give grace to our men for their unspoken pains, encourage them and honor their gifts but do not forsake your power. Together we are stronger than apart. Together we make love against war and together we Rise. Let our foundation no longer be compromised, let us build the family ties.

With all that’s been said, this is not about perfection, this is not about ostracizing those who have not had the same upbringing as me. I honor that we are different, I understand the pain of brokenness, it comes in many forms; there are layers to this but we cannot get to where we want to be if we do not acknowledge where we need to be. It is going to take a strong foundation of order in family ties to get anything done. I know it’s a war out here, I know they’re killing our brothers, kidnapping our sisters, systematically oppressing our children; I know they want us gone. I see the losses but I also see our opportunity. We can stand in one place and reach for the sky by the order of gravity. If we are being pulled but we are not moving, I have to ask, what is holding you? Do not be fooled by these ideas of “living good” dressing well, being rich; it’s God’s plan for us to have it ALL but not without a purpose. If your motive is building a legacy put your money where your mouth is and start with your family. Build yourself a strong foundation so we can make these family ties.

One love,

Katrina M. Lyles

Depression has Fangs but I have a Sword

By: artofkush

Depression is reversible, think of it as any other disease; a build up of mucus, except depression is like fungi. Depression grows on us, it molds upon us and decays our spirits. Depression is a sunken feeling.

I remember being a teenager and facing depression, it hit me, it b teased me, it pushed me around and tried to hold me; depression was my bully. At the time I was facing it daily, I felt it at the pit of my belly on weekends, I was in hell. Throughout the week school kept me functional and distracted from the pain but every time I came home and looked in the mirror, I could not face my own reflection; I was not enough, my hair wasn’t long enough, my face wasn’t pretty enough, I did not feel smart enough, fun enough or loved enough.

During this time of my life I ached for God to see me. I cried out many times believing that I was forgotten; I imagine that’s what our ancestors felt like during slave trade- that God had forgotten about them; aching, sick, defeated and depressed; noone understands the turmoil and bondage of depression until they have faced it’s fangs and how it pressures into your life, gripping you with the force of a striking snake. Depression is unhealed pain knocking at your door as if to say “It’s our anniversary!”

I want no part of your trauma depression; hold on to your drama- I pray you away with the power of rebuke from my momma; you cannot have my soul.

My purpose is to live life whole and though you may come, I declare you cannot hold. You will not bound me in spirit or keep me from life. I sacrificed my tears to swim a Nile River from you. I learned a way called Victory that taught me to speak over my day and talk to God anyway. I let go of my fears and shared my secrets; revealed some truths I thought I’d never say and cried in the arms of God’s protection.

This took a turn and set my soul on fire; I was redeemed, saved from the pit of hell. God brought me out of a dark place where the pain of my forefathers had me bound. I am healed, rather set free; the healing is a process throughout life but I’m no longer bound by the pain.

I am actively healing every day from the bruises on this tender soul and God is my redeemer. Truth set me free, fearlessness set me free; by my words and the sound of my voice God heard my cry and set me free. I am no longer chained or bound sin because God made a way of escape; picked me up out of hell and placed me on solid ground. God filled my cup so that I could help heal the world.

Many of us know the fangs of depression, it strikes then strikes again and at each return it grips more deeply. When depression returns, the timing is not up to you but the choice to live or die is always yours. Choose to live and pick up your sword and walk.

Thank you,

Katrina M. Lyles